Did You Feel Emotion?

 Hello, Bonjour, This week at school for writing we have been writing a fictional story to make our reader feel emotion. The reason we have done a story like this is because our learning intention is to deepen our understanding of descriptive language by creating feelings for our reader, such as empathy. We also looked into short sentences. After you have read my story please comment down below. Did you like my story? Did I use good descriptive language?

My legs shake. My hands shake. I see the dark, cold, room. I gloomily walk in and see my dog helplessly lying there. On a cold metal surgical table. I feel a lump in my throat as if there is a metal ball rolling around. I smell the dusty musty air. I start  saying goodbye to Boris. I say sorry for all the mean things I have said. I see the pain in Boris's eyes. I pat him. I think back to the first day we met. The feeling of my sole shrinking and turning hollow gets worse. I  begin losing hope. The pain starts to grow. Memories start to come back. I wish that we could play fetch, just one more time. While I whisper “don't die,  Please don't die” He starts to close his eyes. My tears start to bubble up in my eyes. I can’t take it any more, I have to let it out, so I do. I wonder, when Boris goes to heaven will he see his dead mum again?I then look over. The nurse comes in with a needle and says “it's time,” She starts to inject him, but he jumps up and starts dancing and singing. How did he do that? I wonder. “Are you sure he is sick?” The nurse said. “I think he is OK, it’s a miracle” Next thing I know Boris is flat on the floor as dead as a rock.